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After "I Do": Are You Worried Your Sex Life Will Shrivel Up and Die?

A recent piece in New York magazine does not paint a pretty picture for those hoping to have sex as half of a married couple.

A recent piece inNew Yorkmagazine doesnotpaint a pretty picture for those hoping to have sex as half of a married couple.

Every week,the mag prints the real-life sex diary of an anonymous New Yorker.This week's subject: a 35-year-old married father of one who's straight up not gettin' any.Some excerpts:


6:50 a.m.:Take extra time washing my man region while in the shower.

__11:28 p.m.:__Drift over to the casual-encounters section on Craigslist.I'm sure I'd never actually answer one of these ads.But I wonder about the people who place them (the ones who are not prostitutes).Is that the last step?


__11:24 a.m.:__I am so tense;it's been weeks since I last had any physical contact.I need to find a massage parlor near work.Legitimate


__9:17 a.m.:__I think we spend so much time being mama and papa that we don't get enough time to be man and wife.I'm feeling really lonely.So it's lonely,horny,and exhausted.Fantastic.

The rest of the week is just as depressing—read the play-by-playhere.The seven-day sex tally: Two acts of masturbation.One fight with wife that results in night on the couch.One erotic neck-rub from wife.Numerous ponderings about massage parlors.

Are you worried that you'll stop having sex once you're married?Or seriously slow down,at least?How 'bout after you have kids?Is there any hope for this guy?(Or any of us?!Yikes!)

More post-wedding questions:

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viaTres Sugar